A person wearing earphones surrounded by audio wave symbols in different colours.

Auditory overload: lost in the noise as a neurodivergent thinker

Auditory (Sensory) overload can be a significant challenge for many people, but it’s particularly common for neurodivergent individuals. With heightened sensitivity to sensory input, everyday noises, sights and even textures can become overwhelming, leading to anxiety, frustration and difficulty focusing.

Understanding sensory overload

Sensory overload occurs when our brains are bombarded with too much information from our senses. This can manifest in various ways, such as physical symptoms like headaches, tiredness, muscle tension and tummy issues.  Emotional symptoms can manifest in anxiety, irritability and mood swings and you could have difficulty concentrating, have memory problems or find it hard to make decisions.

Auditory overload in different environments

Sensory overload can be triggered by a variety of environments including travel, open-plan offices, noisy cafes or even your busy home. The constant noise and visual stimuli of meetings and presentations can be draining. Even family gatherings can be stressful, especially in crowded or unfamiliar environments. Collaborative workspaces can be noisy and chaotic making focusing difficult and even your digital spaces with the constant stream of notifications, emails and social media can be overwhelming.

The impact of control over sound

Having some kind of control over the sound in your environment is an important factor in managing sensory overload. When neurodivergent individuals feel they have control over the sounds around them, they can often tolerate higher noise levels, for example, listening to music with headphones can be calming, even if the music is loud. In opposition, when you feel you have no control over the sound environment, even small amounts of noise can be incredibly disruptive. This is particularly true when unexpected noises occur, such as sudden phone alerts or loud conversations.

Harnessing the power of sound to mange auditory overload

Fortunately, several strategies exist to manage sensory overload, and sound therapy is one of the most effective. You can create a more calming and focused environment by carefully selecting and using different sounds.

Pink noise, white noise and binaural beats

The following soothing sounds can help mask distracting noises and encourage relaxation.

  • Pink noise: This type of noise has a frequency spectrum that decreases with increasing frequency, similar to rainfall or a gentle breeze. It can help to improve sleep quality and reduce stress.
  • White noise: This noise consists of all audible frequencies at equal intensity and it can mask background noise and improve focus.
  • Binaural beats: These are auditory illusions created by playing two tones at different frequencies in each ear. They can induce relaxation, improve cognitive function and enhance creativity.

The benefits of noise-cancelling headphones for auditory overload

Noise-cancelling headphones are a fantastic tool for managing sensory overload, especially in noisy environments. By blocking out unwanted sounds, they can help to reduce stress and improve focus. However, choosing the right type of headphones to suit your needs and preferences is important.  Over-ear headphones offer excellent noise cancellation and sound quality but can be bulky and hot. On-ear headphones are more portable and less bulky than over-ear headphones, but they may not offer as much noise cancellation. Earbuds are the most portable option but may not offer as much noise cancellation as over-ear or on-ear headphones.

When selecting noise-cancelling headphones, consider comfort, sound quality, noise-cancellation effectiveness and battery life. Additionally, think about how you want to communicate your need for quiet time. A visual cue, such as wearing headphones, can signal to others that you need to focus or unwind.

Sound therapy for sleep

Sound therapy can also be a valuable tool for improving sleep quality. Many people find that listening to calming music, nature sounds, or white noise helps them relax and drift off to sleep. Additionally, a sound machine or a sleep app can provide consistent background noise to mask disruptive sounds.

By understanding the impact of sensory overload and using sound therapy techniques, you can create a more peaceful and productive environment. Experiment with different sounds and headphones to find what works best for you and don’t hesitate to seek professional help if sensory overload continues to be a significant issue.

A hand holding a rugby ball with the title "Rugby World Cup 2003"

Leading diversity: The rugby playbook

Rugby is a masterclass in teamwork and leading diversity, strategy and leadership, where success comes from recognising and using each player’s unique strengths. The same applies to business; great leaders understand how individuals think, process information, and contribute to a shared goal. Cognitive diversity, like in rugby, means every team member brings a different strength to the table.

Lewis Moody sums it up best:

“I love this blog. Rugby gave me a wonderful start in life, helping me understand how diverse we all are as individuals and how those diversities if celebrated and nurtured in the right environment, can deliver remarkable results. Nathan has combined his 2 passions, Rugby and coaching for neurodiversity, to shine a light on the importance of understanding our people and celebrating our diversity to be able to harness and drive personal and team performance within organisations. Knowing Nathan as a coach, I wouldn’t hesitate to jump on a discovery call with him to explore new possibilities for my own team.”

Lewis Moody MBE (Former England Rugby Captain)

Success in rugby hinges on understanding how players think and process information. A prop forward’s mindset differs vastly from a fly-half’s, just as your finance director’s approach contrasts with your head of innovation. This cognitive diversity isn’t just natural, it’s crucial for building high-performing leadership teams. This blog explores how the principles of rugby coaching can be applied to maximise the potential of neurodiverse leadership, creating a competitive advantage in your organisation.

Reading the game: leading diversity with different thinking styles

Consider a rugby backline: the scrum half needs lightning-fast decision-making, the fly-half requires strategic vision and the centres balance analytical and intuitive thinking. Each position demands a unique cognitive approach but must function in harmony. This mirrors your organisation. Some leaders excel at detailed, sequential processing (your methodical problem-solvers), others thrive on pattern recognition and intuitive leaps (your innovators), while some shine in crisis management (your operational leaders).

The scrum: structured support for neurodiverse leadership

A scrum provides a structured environment where diverse players contribute effectively. Similarly, coaching neurodiverse leadership teams creates a framework for success. As rugby coaches adapt to different positions, corporate coaching helps build inclusive cultures where diverse thinking styles can flourish.

Key coaching strategies for leading diversity:

  1. Position-specific training:
  • Rugby: Props require different coaching from wingers.
  • Business: Adapt communication to individual processing needs. Use visual aids for visual thinkers, structured instructions for sequential processors and auditory methods for those who process information best by listening.
  • Outcome: Enhanced understanding and improved performance.
  1. Creating protected space:
  • Rugby: The scrum provides a protected space for specialised roles.
  • Business: Establish work environments that adjust to different sensory needs and different focus styles. Offer quiet spaces, flexible working arrangements and minimise distractions.
  • Outcome: Increased productivity and engagement.
  1. Clear signals and communication:
  • Rugby: Distinct calls and signals for different plays.
  • Business: Experiment with multiple communication channels (email, instant messaging, face-to-face) to suit diverse processing styles. Ensure clear and concise messaging once you know what works.
  • Benefit: Improved information retention, team coordination and reduced misunderstandings.

Open play: Adapting to different processing speeds

In open play, players process information and react at different speeds, and this unpredictability can be a powerful advantage. The same applies to leadership, understanding and leveraging different thinking styles can make teams stronger. Some leaders are quick intuitive decision-makers who excel in high-pressure situations, while others are methodical analysts who thrive in detailed planning. Some have a natural ability to spot patterns and identify opportunities, while others bring innovative problem-solving skills, finding unexpected solutions. Coaching helps leaders recognise both their own and their team’s diverse strengths, enabling them to harness these abilities effectively and build a more adaptable, high-performing team.

The line-out: Leadin diversity to building on individual strengths

A successful line-out relies on players with different cognitive approaches to timing and coordination. Similarly, strong leadership comes from recognising and integrating diverse thinking styles. Effective coaching helps organisations identify these strengths, build well-balanced teams, develop inclusive communication and create support systems that enable everyone to contribute to success.

Training ground: creating safe spaces for growth

Just as rugby teams need a supportive training environment to grow, organisations must create spaces where neurodivergent leaders can develop their skills with confidence. They need opportunities to practice new approaches without fear of judgment, receive feedback that aligns with their thinking style and refine strategies that suit their natural way of processing information. By creating this kind of environment, leaders can build confidence in their unique problem-solving abilities. Creating safe spaces isn’t just about support, it’s about unlocking potential, encouraging innovation and helping team members thrive.

Match day: putting it all together

 On match day, every player knows their role and how they contribute to the team’s success. The same clarity is essential in organisations. Effective coaching ensures clear procedures that adapt to different thinking styles, flexible systems that allow for varied approaches and support structures that bring out the best in each individual. When diverse contributions are recognised and valued, teams operate at their highest level. Match day is where all the hard work comes together to deliver a winning result.

The championship mindset: leading for cognitive diversity 

Championship rugby teams succeed by embracing diverse playing styles, and the best organisations do the same by embracing cognitive diversity. Coaching provides a framework to identify and develop different thinking styles, create inclusive environments and build teams that thrive on complementary strengths. By adopting leadership strategies that accept neurodiversity, organisations can unlock innovation, improve decision-making and drive long-term success.

The final whistle: building your winning team by leading diversity

The best rugby teams actively seek out diverse playing styles. Through targeted coaching, your organisation can create an environment where diverse thinking isn’t just accepted, it’s celebrated as a strength.

Ready to build your championship leadership team?

Just as every excellent rugby team needs a skilled coach, your organisation needs support to unlock its full potential. Whether you want to enhance team performance, create inclusive leadership strategies, develop structures that support diverse thinking or build a more resilient organisation, contact me for a discussion about how we can help your organisation transform cognitive diversity into your competitive advantage.

A fence with the word yes in front and the word no behind it.

Hesitation: The perils of the fence-sitter – #2

Hesitation while it might seem like a safe tactic to avoid rejection or disappointment, the habit of not committing to a “yes” or “no” can lead to a host of damaging results.

The cost of indecision can be great, affecting many areas of your life. Hesitating too long often means missing out on experiences, relationships or career opportunities which can damage trust and personal and professional connections. The uncertainty that comes with not making a decision can lead to high levels of stress and anxiety and can decrease your productivity, making it harder to focus and move forward with important tasks. Over time, repeatedly avoiding decisions can erode your self-confidence and harm your self-esteem.

Hesitation can stop commitment

Making a commitment matters because it brings clearness and direction to your life. A clear “yes” or “no” helps you stay focused and gives you a sense of purpose. Being honest and direct, even when the answer isn’t what someone wants to hear, strengthens relationships by building trust and respect. Firm decisions also increase productivity by allowing you to concentrate your energy and resources on your chosen path. Over time, making confident choices can boost your belief in your ability.

Tips for overcoming  indecision

Overcoming  Indecision can be easier with a few simple strategies. Start by setting a deadline to give yourself a clear timeframe for making a decision. Take time to weigh the pros and cons by listing the potential benefits and drawbacks of each option, and trust your gut, as intuition often leads to good choices. Practice mindfulness by staying focused on the present moment instead of worrying about past mistakes or future uncertainties. If you’re still unsure, get advice from trusted friends, family, or a mentor to gain other’s perspectives.

By embracing good decision-making skills, you can jump off that fence, stop any hesitation and move forward to unlock your full potential.

What are your experiences with indecision? How have you overcome this challenge? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

 

Could AI be the key to unlocking untapped neurodivergent potential?

Unlocking ADHD talent with AI: A Leader’s Guide

Unlocking ADHD Talent with AI:  The buzz around Artificial Intelligence (AI) often centres on automation and efficiency, sometimes with a hint of anxiety about job displacement. But what if we’re missing a crucial piece of the puzzle? What if AI could be the key to unlocking the untapped potential of a highly valuable yet often overlooked talent pool: neurodivergent individuals, particularly those with ADHD?

The Untapped Power of Neurodiversity in the Age of AI

As a leader in today’s rapidly changing business world, you’re likely navigating the complexities of AI integration. While many see AI primarily as a tool for cost reduction, this perspective risks overlooking a transformative opportunity: leveraging AI to build a more inclusive, innovative, and productive workplace for neurodivergent employees.

Consider this: Individuals with ADHD often possess exceptional creative thinking, problem-solving abilities, and a knack for identifying innovative solutions—precisely the skills that will become even more valuable as AI takes over routine tasks. Yet, traditional workplace structures often fail to support these individuals in leveraging their unique strengths, which is a loss for both the individual and the organization.

Beyond Compliance: AI as a Catalyst for Inclusion

The Equality Act 2010 in the UK recognizes ADHD as a protected characteristic when it significantly impacts daily activities. This isn’t just about ticking a box; it’s about understanding that supporting neurodivergent employees is a legal obligation and a strategic advantage.

“Employers can often be short-sighted when it comes to their duty to make reasonable adjustments, thinking only of immediate and obvious ways to make changes to the working environment. Sadly, the adjustments made are sometimes simply a nod to the legislative requirements, and these can end up being both ineffective and disempowering to the individual. By thinking more creatively about how they can use technology to enhance the performance of neurodiverse employees, organisations will not just be retaining excellent employees and enabling them to maximise their contribution to the business, but they will significantly reduce the risks of disability discrimination claims against them. “

Sophie Whitbread, Senior Employment Associate Penningtons Manches Cooper LLP

Forward-thinking organisations realise that AI can be a game-changer in providing reasonable adjustments. Imagine AI systems that:

  • Structure Chaos: Transform overwhelming task lists into manageable, structured workflows, breaking complex projects into digestible steps.
  • Personalized Reminders: Provide intelligent reminders and organisational tools that complement ADHD thinking patterns, minimising distractions and maximising focus.
  • Optimized Workspaces: Create customised work environments that minimise sensory overload and support concentration.
  • Enhanced Communication: Facilitate clear and concise communication, reducing misunderstandings and improving collaboration.

The High Cost of Short-Sighted AI Implementation

When organisations view AI solely through the lens of cost-cutting, they risk losing their most innovative thinkers. Employees with ADHD often bring unique perspectives, passionate engagement, and a high degree of resilience to their work. Their ability to think outside the box – to see connections others miss and generate novel solutions – is precisely what organisations need in an AI-driven world.

The real threat isn’t that AI will replace jobs; a short-sighted approach to AI implementation could drive away the talent that organizations need to thrive in an AI-enhanced future.

Creating New Opportunities: AI as an Enabler

Progressive leaders are already exploring how AI can create new roles and opportunities that capitalise on the strengths of neurodivergent employees. When AI handles routine tasks, individuals with ADHD can focus on:

  • Strategic Vision: Contributing to high-level planning and innovative thinking.
  • Complex Problem-Solving: Tackling challenging issues that require creative solutions.
  • Human-Centered Design: Designing products and services that meet diverse needs.
  • Relationship Building: Leveraging their emotional intelligence to foster strong teams and client relationships.

The Path Forward: Strategic AI Integration

To truly harness this potential, leaders must:

  • Shift the Mindset: Recognize AI as a tool for workforce transformation, not just job replacement.
  • Invest Strategically: Invest in AI systems supporting and enhancing neurodivergent thinking styles.
  • Create New Roles: Design roles that leverage the unique strengths of employees with ADHD.
  • Prioritize Inclusion: Ensure AI implementation includes appropriate accommodations and support for neurodiversity.
  • Protect Innovation: Balance the need to protect intellectual property with the desire to foster innovation.

A Call to Action: Lead the Change

Unlocking ADHD Talent with AI is a pivotal opportunity for organisational leaders. Those who see it merely as a cost-cutting measure risk losing the diverse perspectives and innovative thinking that fuel business success. Instead, forward-thinking leaders should embrace AI as an opportunity to create more inclusive, dynamic workplaces that unlock the full potential of all employees, including those with ADHD.

The question isn’t if AI will transform your organisation – it’s how you will use that transformation. Will you automate, downsize, or leverage AI to build a more innovative, inclusive, and prosperous future? The organisations that thrive in the age of AI won’t be the ones that cut costs. They will be the ones that strategically leverage AI to unleash the full potential of their diverse workforce, creating a win-win for both the organisation and its employees. The time to begin this journey is now.

Let’s discuss: How is your organisation preparing to support neurodiversity in the age of AI? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below! #AI #Neurodiversity #ADHD #Leadership #FutureofWork #Inclusion #Innovation

Created in collaboration with Dan Sodergren
www.aileadershipcourse.com

 

A sand clock

Saying NO: a neurodivergent guide – #1

Saying “no” can be a daunting task, especially for those of us who are neurodivergent. We often feel pressured to please others and avoid conflict, leading us to overcommit and experience burnout. However, learning to say “no” effectively is an important skill for maintaining our well-being and setting healthy boundaries.

Why saying NO is so hard

Some of us may have a fear of disappointing others. We worry about how others might see us if we say no to what they are asking and have difficulties setting boundaries. We struggle to prioritise our own needs and say no to things that don’t fit in with our goals. We can also experience a dopamine hit when we say “yes” that can provide a temporary sense of satisfaction, but it can lead to long-term stress and overwhelm.

Tips for saying NO effectively

Remember that it’s okay to say no. Making sure your own needs are met is not selfish. Clearly communicate your feelings and needs without blaming or accusing others, for example you could say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now and need to prioritise my own tasks. Use “I” statements to talk about how you are feeling. You could also offer different approaches, for example, you could suggest a compromise or alternative solution and say something like, “I can’t take on that project right now, but I could help with a smaller task.” If you’ve decided to say “no”, stand firm in your decision and avoid apologising unnecessarily. Use a calm and confident tone of voice.

Create time to think

If you’re unsure about a request, don’t feel pressured to answer immediately. Ask for time to consider your options and come back with a thoughtful response. Have something up your sleeve to say like, “can I take 30 minutes to think about that” or “I’d really like to think this over, could you pop it in an email?”

Remember, saying “no” doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s a sign of self-respect and self-care. By practicing these tips, you can learn to say “no” with confidence and ease.

If you would like to polish your “saying no” skills let’s have a conversation.

 

 

 

People sitting round desk at a neuroinclusive meeting

Neuroinclusive meetings what an excellent recipe looks like.

Neuroinclusive meetings can be an excellent opportunity to share ideas and collaborate with team members. However, poorly run meetings can sometimes feel like a waste of time and even create unnecessary stress. This is especially true for neurodiverse individuals who may benefit from additional preparation time.

With the right “ingredients,”  you can create productive and inclusive meetings for everyone. Let’s explore the recipe for the perfect meeting!

Agendas for neuroinclusive meetings

Send the agenda out at least twenty-four hours in advance. This helps reduce anxiety by letting everyone know what’s expected of them and what they must do to prepare. It also forces you, the meeting organiser, to be structured with your thoughts so you know what you want to say and what outcome you’d like to achieve from the meeting.

NB: If you need to make last-minute changes, don’t do it often; if you do, clarify why it’s different.

Be clear

Be clear about the purpose of the meeting and what each participant is expected to contribute. Give people the option to decline if their attendance isn’t essential, and ensure that only those who genuinely need to be there are included. Politely but firmly exclude those who aren’t necessary, even if they insist on joining.

In the words of Brene Brown,” Clear is kind; unclear is unkind”.

Be specific

Be clear about the specific length of the meeting and stick to it. Ideally, allow enough time for everyone to get there and for them to leave and visit the restroom or grab a coffee before their next meeting.

Make it clear

Communicate with those attending and ensure that only those who make a valuable contribution are invited. There’s no sense in having people present with nothing to contribute or do more urgent work than necessary. Clearly outline the meeting’s objectives and the intended outcomes for everyone involved so participants know why they are there.

Location

Ensure everyone knows where the neuroinclusive meeting will be held, whether online or face-to-face, especially if new people are coming.

(If it’s on Zoom and you’ve been using Teams for the last six months, you may need to update your software, which can take extra time.).

Food for neuroinclusive meetings

If the meeting is going ahead during mealtimes, ensure you’ve worked out how people will refuel themselves. I often rule that I won’t attend a meeting during lunchtime, especially if decent biscuits aren’t available… I’m working on this with many people.

Limit smells

Encourage your team to be considerate about smells. Some smells can be overpowering for neurodiverse individuals; for example, solid perfumes and aftershaves can make it difficult for some people to concentrate.

Dress code for neuroinclusive meetings

If it’s informal, keep it informal, but let them know if there are any expectations regarding what people need to wear.

Wrap up the meeting

It is always a good idea to reserve time at the end of the meeting to recap what was discussed, confirm the agreed actions, and clarify who will be responsible for carrying them out. This ensures everyone leaves with a clear understanding of the next steps.

I hope these tips inspire you to transform unstructured meetings into productive and successful collaborations. Remember, great meetings often come from a willingness to experiment and refine. Don’t hesitate to try new approaches and seek feedback on the best way to discover what works so you can continuously improve.

Two meerkats

Dealing with distraction – Meerkat moments

You’ve misplaced your equipment, lost your keys and are unaware of your schedule. You’re losing a sense of where you are in space and time and it feels like appointments and tasks are slipping through your fingers. Your dealing with distraction?

This stuff impacts all of us sometimes, but for some individuals, especially those who have ADHD traits, this can be part of everyday life.

One way to start managing this is to have, “meerkat moments.”

Dealing with Distraction

This is where you simply stop, look up and look around, working out where you are and in relation to what you think you might have decided to do that day. These moments can happen at any time, but they are often helpful when you’ve just finished an activity or maybe are getting to a point where you’re noticing you’re a bit stuck. They’re also beneficial if you see your emotions are running high or your energy is significantly altered, either high or low energy.

If you’re struggling to focus and finding that you’re losing your way, I want to offer a meerkat moment and ask you to think about what this might look like.

You might find it helpful to signpost yourself by putting a picture of a meerkat on your desktop (or maybe not), or you might discover something beneficial that prompts you to pause, take stock of where you are and what needs to happen next.

This is all about looking up, looking out and deciding what to do next.

We can’t decide what happens to us and we certainly can’t decide what other people do to us, but we can always choose what we do next.

If it would be helpful and you’d like to discuss this, I encourage you to reach out to someone you trust. If you’d like to have a conversation with us, please get in contact.

some leaves showing an Autumn scene

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and neurodiversity: a complex intersection

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that occurs at specific seasons of the year. Winter, darker mornings and earlier evenings can create this feeling. Symptoms like low mood, fatigue, increased desire for sleep and overreacting characterise it. While SAD can affect anyone, it may be more impactful for individuals who have neurodivergent traits.

SAD impacts around 2 million people in the UK each year*.

Why Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) may be more common in neurodivergent individuals?

Sensory overload

Some individuals with neurodivergent traits experience sensory overload, this means they’re more sensitive to light, smell, taste and other senses. SAD can further increase this sensitivity, meaning that the impact of reduced sunlight can have a huge impact on your ability to operate effectively.

Social challenges

Some individuals with neurodivergent traits have social challenges. SAD can exaggerate these challenges, making it even more difficult to connect with others. Therefore, when an individual has to mask and use strategies to operate effectively in social situations, it can be an uncomfortable experience making them exhausted.

Routine changes

SAD can be triggered by changes in routine. Neurodivergent individuals often rely on routines or strategies for living well and changes in these routines can be derailing, meaning that they’re thrown off course and end up in a situation where they’re unable to operate effectively. This can cause considerable anxiety and complexity in terms of carrying out day-to-day tasks and operating effectively.

What does this look like?

Increased symptoms

SAD can intensify existing symptoms of neurodivergence, such as anxiety, depression or difficulty focusing. This means that things are taken to a new level and can often create challenging situations for individuals who have built effective strategies that are no longer fit for purpose.

Social isolation

With low mood and fatigue associated with SAD, it can make it harder for neurodivergent individuals to participate in social activities, leading to feelings of isolation.

Sleep disturbances

SAD can disrupt sleep patterns, which can further worsen symptoms of neurodivergence. Without enough sleep, many of us struggle to function well, but if your body needs more sleep to operate effectively, SAD can make life incredibly challenging.

Difficulty with routine

SAD can make it challenging to maintain a consistent routine, which can be particularly difficult for neurodivergent individuals who rely on routines for stability. For example, some individuals enjoy waking up in the light, which helps get their bodies going. This can be tricky if that light is no longer there, especially in the mornings. In addition, you may need exercise to start the day well, and it may not feel safe to go outside because it’s dark. Your motivation levels can drop, and this will impact your ability to operate effectively.

Coping Strategies for Seasonal Affective Disorder and Neurodivergence

Light therapy

Exposure to bright light can help regulate mood and reduce SAD symptoms. This can be done using lamps; for example, daylight lamps have been successful for some people when waking up.

Regular exercise

Physical activity can boost mood and energy levels. Making exercise a non-negotiable is often important and building regular exercise into your daily routine can be effective. This may be at the beginning of the day to get it out of the way, or alternatively exercising at lunchtime when there’s natural daylight. Neglecting regular exercise can often be a downward spiral to not being able to cope well.

Healthy diet

Eating a balanced diet can help improve overall well-being. Food plays a vital role in our lives, but for some people with neurodivergent traits, getting the right foods, especially a balanced diet, is essential. This can also help us combat SAD, for example, foods that are high in carbohydrates can give us an afternoon slump in energy.

Social support

Connecting with others can provide emotional support and reduce feelings of isolation. Connecting with others allows them to understand what’s going on with you and that can often be helpful. As I’ve learned through working with different people, we usually find it hard to turn up for ourselves, but it’s easy to turn up for someone else, so partnering with a friend, family or even a coach to stay accountable could be helpful.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s experience of SAD is unique, but that doesn’t mean we can’t work out how to move forward effectively.

If you’re finding Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) difficult, it’s a good idea to contact your GP to explore available support options, however, if you’re hesitant or feel more comfortable discussing it in another setting, that can be beneficial too. If you think talking with us might help, whether for yourself or someone in your workplace, feel free to reach out. Together, we can assess whether our support would be helpful for your situation.

* Thames Chase Website

two people siting showing empathy to each other

Empathy: Understanding and connecting in a neurodiverse world

Empathy is the ability to understand and share your feelings with others. This skill is critical in navigating social situations and can often help you build meaningful connections with other people, but for some people with neurodivergent traits, this can be tricky.

I want to explore the three main types of empathy, cognitive, emotional, and compassionate. We’ll look at each type and see how it can be relevant to neurodivergent conditions. I’ll also give you tips for strengthening your skills so you can operate successfully in what is often a neurotypical world.

Cognitive Empathy: seeing the world through different lenses

Cognitive empathy is our ability to understand someone else’s perspective, even if they don’t have the same experiences as we do. This is especially helpful when trying to understand another person’s perspective. For instance, whether we’re working with a difficult team member or a stakeholder from another part of your organisation, it can be challenging to navigate if you don’t grasp the underlying motivations behind their behaviour.

For some people who have neurodivergent traits, this is incredibly challenging.

So here are tips that can be useful in strengthening cognitive empathy.

  • Ask open-ended questions, encouraging people to share their thoughts and feelings.
  • Try and notice what’s going on and get inquisitive about it.
  • If in doubt, ask, but do it from a place of genuine interest.

Emotional Empathy: sharing someone’s feelings

Emotional empathy is effectively sharing someone else’s feelings. This can be a powerful tool to build connections and foster good relationships. This can be challenging for individuals if they don’t know what those feelings are. For some individuals with neurodivergent traits, emotions can be completely overwhelming. Recognising that we may not be able to be emotionally empathetic in the traditional way is helpful, but that doesn’t mean you can’t explore what might help others and ask what’s going on and how you can support them in what they’re experiencing.

Tips for managing emotional empathy

  • Knowing your limits and encouraging others to notice theirs, such as taking breaks from emotionally charged situations,.
  • Set boundaries, let people know when you need space, and make it clear that they should let you know when they need space.
  • Practice self-care, creating enough space to recharge and be your most effective self at work.
  • Being conscious of masking. We all mask to a certain extent, but those masks are big and heavy for some individuals. It’s essential to recognise when you’re wearing a mask and to be mindful of what that feels like in your working environment.

Compassionate Empathy: understanding, feeling, and taking action

Compassionate empathy combines cognitive empathy and emotional empathy with a desire to help. It’s often framed as the ability to understand what’s going on through noticing feelings and reactions and then taking actions to support the individual presenting before us. Compassionate empathy can be a valuable tool for anyone who wants to build strong relationships and positively impact the world, but this can sometimes be very challenging, especially if you cannot detect or work effectively with other types of empathy. This can be particularly challenging for neurodivergent individuals, but that does not mean that individuals who have neurodivergent conditions do not care or do not want the very best for the other person. Working out the most effective way to support and care for someone is often the game changer between effective working relationships and those that fall flat on their face.

Tips for developing compassion (it’s often the simple things that make all the difference).

  • Validate other’s experiences by letting them know that their feelings are valid.
  • Offer support that can be accepted or rejected and that you’re happy with either way.
  • Make sure that when you take action to help, you do it in partnership. Even small gestures can make a huge difference. It can be the difference between someone feeling unseen to feeling seen, heard and felt.

The Neurodiverse world

Here are some insights on what can help achieve empathy at work.

  • Be patient with yourself. Developing empathy takes time and practice. What’s important is that it’s a lifelong lesson but one that is well worth the investment.
  • Communicate your needs. It is often useful to let others know what you prefer and what you find difficult, and this can be one of the key building blocks of good communication.
  • Find your tribe. Connect with others who have had experiences similar to yours. I would also add that different people add as much value to your tribe as those who are the same, otherwise you run the risk of operating in an echo chamber where nothing changes and no new ideas are formed.
  • Celebrate what’s great. Neurodivergent conditions have strengths and challenges, and you must recognise those strengths. In my experience, people are often aware of what they struggle with but often unaware of what they’re great at.

Empathy can be seen as a complex skill, and it is even more challenging for neurodivergent individuals. Although this isn’t an exhaustive list of the different types of empathy, hopefully, it gets you thinking about how empathy turns up and how useful it can be with your connections. I think it’s essential to challenge some of the stereotypes about how empathy is presented and make it okay to experiment and work out the best way to be empathetic within your working environment. Understanding how empathy occurs for different individuals in different spaces is essential and is often the cornerstone of creating effective neuroinclusive communities.

If you need to know more?

Please feel free to get in contact to find out how to start a conversation about this in your organisation

A red fast jet flying through the sky

Top Gun (1986) and parallels with neurodiversity coaching

If you grew up in the 80s, you may love or hate Top Gun which stars Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, Meg Ryan and others. It’s a film I love and have written about before and has defined much of my thinking. There are lessons that have carried me through a lot of my experience around coaching and neurodiversity. Here’s little nuggets of wisdom that I have picked up from the film that parallel with neurodiversity coaching.

It seems coaching and the film are wildly different but hang in there, this could be the wildest ride of your life…I feel the need, the need for speed! (That’s entirely from the film, in case you missed it).

Let’s start

Tom Cruise’s character, Maverick. He shows a lot of promise yet lets himself down in many ways. He’s frustrated with himself and the system, but when he tries his best, he significantly improves. This is much like many neurodivergent thinkers and leaders I work with. They often struggle with the system and need to work out ways to interact to shape their processes so they can perform at their best. This is how I can help, by amplifying strengths and managing the things an individual may find tricky.

Difficulty

In the film, the characters join in a training exercise, competing to take down the practice enemy and earn personal points. Maverick, played by Tom Cruise, is piloting a plane with Goose who is the Radar Intercept Officer seated behind him. During the flight, they fly through the other planes’ jet wash (turbulent air created behind a jet aircraft due to the high-speed exhaust gases expelled from its engines). This results in both engines failing, sending the plane into an uncontrollable flat spin. Maverick and Goose are forced to eject from the aircraft with no other options. Tragically, Goose has a fatal injury during ejection, lands in the sea with Maverick and dies a short time later.

This forces Maverick to go to a place he is uncomfortable with as he blames himself for a mistake that wasn’t his fault. Ultimately, that ejection system should have been able to deal with those conditions.

This kind of self-blaming can show up in neurodiversity, for example, in ADHD or Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD). This is where individuals fear rejection and blame themselves for the things that happen that have nothing to do with them. This can lead to crippling feelings of anxiety and low self-worth, meaning they are not able to perform at their best.

Tricky Mission

Maverick’s (Tom Cruise) journey involves him being selected to perform a tricky mission at the end of the film where he flies through another jet wash, but this time it doesn’t take his engines out. As you can imagine, this brings back the trauma of his friend’s death. He temporarily disengages and switches off from flying his plane, which puts one of his colleagues, Iceman in grave danger. Maverick overcomes this by the conversations that are happening over the plane’s comms system and also by his self-talk. This overlaps with coaching because coaching around neurodiversity is often about building resilience and creating coping mechanisms that support you in your workplace. This allows the individual to move forward effectively.

One of the other themes in the film is the idea of mentorship, which Maverick has from the Top Gun program from his mentors Viper and Jester. They guide him through how to take his raw, energetic and unorthodox approach and turn it into something valuable to the organisation. This draws many parallels with neurodivergent thinkers in terms of how they feel about workplace problems and the solutions they want to implement. Being able to deliver solutions in a palatable way that meets the organisation’s needs is vital for any changes to have the desired effect. I’ve worked with individuals who have great ideas, but don’t deliver them in a way that is appetising enough for the organisation and it brings the question, do you need a Top Gun mentorship programme in your organisation to help mould some of your mavericks?

Failure and Top Gun

The change and growth in Maverick’s story is an integral part of the film. Towards the end of the film, he has moved from someone who has failed in his responsibility towards Goose, his Radar Intercept Officer, to being confident in his own abilities to deliver what he needs to do to support himself and his team to be effective. He’s even able to overcome his lack of self-confidence as he reflects on what has gone wrong.

This narrative is just as relevant to neurodivergent thinkers, particularly in the workplace. Building confidence and reframing the conversations is vital. I worked with someone recently who felt they could not market themselves effectively yet were successful with a full calendar of client work. Their social media game was poor and they felt they were, “less than” because they could’nt advertise themselves effectively. We reframed it to, “I’m so good at what I do that I don’t need to advertise”. Having that reframe was vital for them to see their brilliance.

Collaboration and Top Gun

Collaboration and teamwork are needed in the film. The film emphasises the need for the pilots to work together in pairs, protecting and watching over each other as they enter challenging situations, particularly when faced with the enemy. I’ve noticed in a lot of my work around neurodiversity in the workplace, the team is often the best vehicle for neurodivergent individuals to move forward. It allows them to progress in what they are doing while working with others who are great at different things and can complement their skills. This is only possible through learning how to collaborate well. I’d like to add that agreement is not the same as collaboration, meaning you don’t have to agree on everything. You must decide on the essential things to move forward.

Flexibility and Top Gun

The film Top Gun touches on this concept of adaptability and flexibility. The pilots in Top Gun, particularly Maverick’s character, must adjust to changing situations. This is true regarding how he treats Charlie, the female lead character, as he recognises, she is an incredibly skilled instructor instead of just someone he fancies in the bar that they drink in. He also must adapt his techniques and ways of approaching what he does based on what’s happening in front of him. This is a challenge for neurodivergent thinkers in the workplace because life is not always the way we see it.  There is complexity and nuance that we often don’t pick up on, so we have to find ways to adapt and learn how to be our most effective.

Coaching and mentoring played an essential part in developing Maverick into the successful fighter pilot he became. It can change people’s lives, and often, it’s about creating a space where individuals can learn to be their best so they can move forward. Coaching is often implemented for people who are struggling but can play a vital role in developing who they become.

If you haven’t watched Top Gun 1986 watch it, and it’s so good they’ve made a second film which is a continuation from the first film. The storyline is even less believable but will have you feeling the thrill of flying and the need for speed!